Misadventures In Balamb Garden
by Shadowfox-b4k4
Summary: I dunno what I was thinking when I wrote this, but I hope it'll at least make you giggle. I get lost in Balamb Garden, and many things happen that cause me get in trouble with the characters...


I got bored one day and I started to write this. I unknowingly get stuck in Balamb Garden and the things I do are getting me into lots of trouble with everyone. Note: I'm not really this stupid in real life. But I think I might get you giggle once or twice, but I'm not really expecting anymore…  
  
The usual disclaimer people aren't here (Where is Kardro and Fuujin?!) So I'm letting the sign do the talking…  
  
*Points to sign, it reads*  
  
Shadowfox doesn't own anything except for a broken PC, she her and you'll get a used Band-Aid. Not only that, she'll throw her cat in your face if you start yelling at her for only giving you a measly Band-Aid…  
  
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1 O… kay……  
  
I'm currently stuck on some floating building thingy that is all brightly lit up. There is blue and gold paint here and there's lotsa, I mean LOTSA, people here. All dressed up like they gotta go to some formal party whatchamaycallit…  
  
I am also running from some dudes wearing yellow poncho things. Yelling at me for being an… unauthorized person in the 'Garden'… and are most likely to planning on how to kick my bottom out the front door…  
  
Earlier…  
  
"Where's your ID?"  
  
"ID for what?"  
  
"To let us know if you're attending the Garden or not… Well are you?"  
  
"You need ID to go to a garden? It's not like I'm gonna steal whatever you're growing here or sumthin'… Right?"  
  
"…Are you a SeeD?"  
  
"No… does it look I'm a seed to you? But you kind need to specify on what kind of seed. Apple, orange, sunflower, anything like that?"  
  
"…Are you always this naïve?"  
  
"Dunno… maybe…"  
  
"That's it! Come with me, you're unauthorized personnel in Garden property!!"  
  
"Yipe!"  
  
Now…  
  
Well… now you see why I'm running from the yellow poncho dudes. Since when was it illegal to just be in a garden without ID? It doesn't look like they're trying to grow any food here. Why are they so upset…?  
  
Walking…  
  
Walking…  
  
Turned a corner…  
  
Yellow poncho dudes…  
  
Turning around…  
  
Running…  
  
Running faster…  
  
Good thing they didn't see me…  
  
"Oof!!!"  
  
Nuts… I'm done for…  
  
Just crashed into a dude in a gray trenchcoat… He looks scary with that long, big, scar on his face. He should try to cover that up a bit… Then, you get a cute, blonde bishonen with green eyes… Two other people are with him…  
  
Wait… he's glaring at me… Uh-oh, I think I got him mad…  
  
"Watch it kid!" he says.  
  
"Uh… sorry…"  
  
"Sorry? Sorry?! Is that all you can say, 'Sorry'?! You'll be really sorry once I'm done with you! Then that'll teach you to be more careful around Seifer Almasy!" he yells.  
  
"Yeah! Go Seifer! That'll teach her, ya know?"  
  
"AFFIRMATIVE."  
  
Okay… I'm gonna get beaten to a bloody pulp by three people whom I shall now call the "Three Stooges," Mr. Scary, Scarred Guy, Miss. Eye-patch, and Mr. Big Dude.  
  
Now… is a better time than ever to remember where those tension points* are…  
  
Before…  
  
"You just squeeze like that."  
  
"Like this?"  
  
Crack  
  
Five minutes pass…  
  
"…Uh… AniPrinzess**… You okay there…?"  
  
Now…  
  
Lessee here… Oh! The back of the neck's a good place! Ok… just walk up… put your hand somewhere on the back of the neck… use your thumb… and squeeze as hard as you can!  
  
"Urk…"  
  
Thud  
  
Whoops… a bit too hard… Wonder when he'll wake up… Hehe… He's got little swirly marks on his face…  
  
Uh-oh… Two of the Three Stooges look mad… Three eyeballs are glaring at me…  
  
"What did you do to Seifer, ya know?!" yells Mr. Big Dude.  
  
"SEIFER, DEAD?!" yells Miss. Eye-patch really, really loudly.  
  
"Uh… He's not dead… I kinda knocked him out…"  
  
"You're gonna pay for hurting the leader of the Posse, ya know?!" Mr. Big Dude says, also while taking out a big, I mean really, really BIG, staff thingy…  
  
"AGREE!" says Miss. Eye-patch in that really loud voice, she's also taking out a weird looking boomerang like thingy…  
  
Now… is a better time than ever to run like crazy… Screaming also might add a bit to the effect…  
  
Running…  
  
Running faster…  
  
Running even faster…  
  
Out running a cheetah…  
  
Oh, look! There goes one right now! Hi Mr. Cheetah!  
  
Running past Mr. Cheetah…  
  
Running like a torpedo…  
  
Cool… I think I just created a sonic boom!  
  
Ok… I'm getting tired now…  
  
Slower…  
  
Slower…  
  
Drat… the stooges are catching up to me…  
  
Hey! What's that? A cafeteria? No… wait… cafeterias are bad…  
  
Before…  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Pizza"  
  
"…Pizzas aren't green and fuzzy…"  
  
"Uh… it's veggie pizza!"  
  
After I saw the 'pizza' move…  
  
"…I'm not hungry anymore…"  
  
Now…  
  
After the incident with the "veggie pizza," I stuck with bringing lunch…  
  
So… I'd better find someplace else to hide…  
  
"Come back here, ya know!!!"  
  
"BACK, NOW!"  
  
… Maybe not…  
  
Running into cafeteria…  
  
Empty… except for some blonde, tattooed kid…  
  
I hope he doesn't mind if I hide under his table…  
  
Running…  
  
Diving under table…  
  
Ouch! I hit my head…  
  
Kid's now staring at me under the table like I'm some freak…  
  
BANG! I think the door here got whacked off its hinges…  
  
The stooges are now in the cafeteria…  
  
"Hey Chicken-wuss! Have you seem some weird girl here, ya know?" Gosh, Mr. Big Dude says 'ya know' a lot, I'd better rename him to Mr. Ya Know.  
  
"GIRL, WHERE?"…Okay… Miss. Eye-patch is now known as Miss. Loud…  
  
"Girl?" the kid pauses. "What are going to do to if I tell you where she is? And why do you need her?"  
  
"BEAT UP. KNOCKED SEIFER OUT," says Miss. Loud.  
  
"Oh… then no. Haven't seen a weird girl what can KO Seifer."  
  
"… Maybe she's not here, ya know?"  
  
"AFFIRMATIVE"  
  
Hearing people leave…  
  
Door being closed… Squeakily…  
  
Kid's now dragging me out from table…  
  
"YOU KNOW HOW TO BEAT UP SEIFER?! THEN YOU'RE MY HERO!" he yells loudly, also hugging me. I think my eardrums almost exploded, and all the while being crushed to death…  
  
Kid lets go. Beautiful air circulating in my lungs…  
  
"Uh… yeah. You mean Mr. Scary, Scarred Guy?"  
  
"Hah! Nice name for him! Oh, by the way. I'm Zell!" says the kid, now known as Zell.  
  
"Err… Hello."  
  
This place has proven to be very interesting…  
  
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Whee… Chapter uno done. I had a fun time writing this. I KO Seifer… Hehe… Oh, sorry if it seems like I'm bashing the Posse. Don't worry, they'll be all right and they get their revenge on the writer…  
  
Author's notes:  
  
* Tension points: In case you're wondering, if you squeeze a tension point hard enough, the person then can't move, 'cause they feel like a rock. Tae- kwon-do thingy.  
  
**AniPrinzess (-- formerly Tweety) is another fellow writer here. She's also a good buddy of mine, we go to the same school. Oh, and I never got that tension point thing right when I tried it with her.  
  
Well… ok enough with my blabbering. Please Review! 


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